nine2five 3 Larger Than Life
by Marc Vun Kannon
Summary: Chuck and Sarah are experiencing post-wedding jitters, when Carina comes to visit.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** So Chuck and Sarah are married. Ready, or not? Carina's not one to back down from a challenge, like, why didn't she get an invitation?

My great thanks go out to **atcDave** and **Thinkling** for their invaluable help, not only in keeping Sarah properly in character, but also for helping me brainstorm a number of other storylines for this universe.

* * *

_Lub. Dub._

_Lub. Dub._

The woman who would be known to the world forevermore as Sarah Lisa Bartowski (if the world knew what was good for it) lay in bed, head on her husband's chest, listening to his heart beat, slow and steady. So calming.

Slower at rest than it had been, sign of improved health and general fitness. Steadily pulsing, powering the little bio-electric tracking chip she'd injected into his shoulder after he'd disappeared one too many times. Now she'd never lose him again.

So calming.

And a little creepy, too, as Chuck had pointed out on various occasions. She got that, she really did, but what with the whole spy thing and him being (at the time) an irreplaceable national resource she didn't see that she had a lot of choice in the matter. Probably most other wives would be bugging their husbands to make sure they really were working late at the office. Now _that_ was creepy.

Her hand, on his chest. His ring, on her hand. A gold circle, deathless and endless. So not calming. The ring terrified her, some days, sometimes. What had she been thinking?

Well, nothing, really. If she'd had a single rational thought in her head after what she'd seen, she couldn't remember it, just an all-consuming urge to run, as she had before. That was her life, running away, leaving all of her messes behind her. Then Operation Bartowski kept her pinned to one place, and Chuck made her face up to the things she did and had done. She wasn't a good person. She was barely a person at all.

She didn't deserve him. Was he blind? Was he clueless? What could he have been thinking when he repeated after the man, "With this ring, I thee wed"? Surely one of them should have been thinking! Surely one of them could have seen that normal and Sarah didn't mix.

Chuck stirred in his sleep, tightened his grip on her, and relaxed. 1-2-3-4, he tapped out on her back. _Status?_

1-2-1-2, she tapped back. _Green._

She trembled. She could do this. She _would_ do this. Failure was not an option.

Thank God for Orion.

* * *

Sarah stood in the kitchen, chopping vigorously, humming along to the song currently playing on her phone, occasionally stopping to push the glasses back up on her nose. Whatever reflexes glasses-wearing people used to keep them in place, she didn't have them, and the stupid things kept slipping. It didn't help that these ridiculous commercial-grade knives had an edge that felt like they'd tried to cut butter and lost. Is this the best they could do? Her throwing knives were better, and those were only sharp at the points.

She looked to her left. "Dammit!" She scrambled to grab her phone, pausing the song and shutting down the app.

"Hey hon, what's up?" Chuck swung into the now silent kitchen.

Sarah spun in place, hands (and phone) behind her back. "Good morning, sweetie. You do know that today is Saturday, don't you? I was expecting you to sleep in."

Chuck gave her a suspicious look. "Since when do you wear glasses?"

She sauntered over to him. "Since these were delivered a few days ago. They have a little screen built in, and a micro-cam to send images."

He removed them from her face. "And does this explain the mysterious new bar of organic soap on the top shelf of the medicine chest?" He put them on himself. "Why, yes, yes it does."

"You weren't supposed to notice that."

"You shouldn't have taught me to increase my situational awareness, then." He took the glasses off. "You watch me sleep?"

"I like to watch you sleep." She liked to watch him, period.

"I like to watch you sleep, too. In my arms. While I'm there next to you. Not with high-tech anti-terrorist gear." He folded the earpieces, and hung the lenses from the low neckline of her lingerie. "What's behind your back?"

She pouted, and brought her hands around front, holding plates of sliced vegetables. "I wanted to make you a special surprise breakfast, like that time in Meadow Branch."

His face lit up with joy. "Oo, special." He took a slice of red pepper. "What's the occasion?"

"Nothing," she said, smiling back. "Just the first weekend since you started your new job, I thought it was a good enough reason to celebrate."

"Mmm, good thought ." He stepped forward and kissed her softly above, hands roaming lightly below. "But about that celebration. Can breakfast wait…just a…little while?"

* * *

Sarah slid out of bad the second time that day in a much better mood. She really liked sex (at least with Chuck), liked being the center of his world in the most obvious way possible. It sometimes frightened her how much she liked it, it seemed so huge, so much more than she had ever known, could ever have imagined. At those times she would compare it to how much she hated seduction assignments, the next hugest thing she knew, and she felt better. Whatever she, _they_ were doing, at least it wasn't that. So much more than even the simple pleasure-taking she'd long thought even great sex was. Addicting.

"Where you going, Pretty Lady?"

She shivered, and moved faster. "I am going to finish making that super-special, extra-high calorie breakfast. You're going to need it." First she went into the bathroom and moved the micro-cam, before turning the shower on. Then she left, still dressed and glasses on. Chuck got up and looked in the bathroom. The cam was sitting on the hamper, focused on a–gah!–very cold shower. That gave him an idea.

A few minutes later, he dropped a towel over the cam and said loudly, "A shower! Great idea!"

Her voice rose in horror from the kitchen, "No, Chuck, don't—!"

He splashed the water a bit, and yelled, "Ah, now that's refreshing!" He removed the towel.

Sarah's bright laughter rang from the kitchen, when she looked in the glasses and saw the inflatable snowman he'd gotten out of their Christmas supplies, positioned under the spray.

God, she loved him!

* * *

The phone rang on the table by the bed. His side, the Bartowski phone. The Carmichael phone was on her side, and only she answered that one. Part of the Carmichael legend. Chuck moved to answer it, since Sarah wasn't going anywhere for a while. "Bartowski. Hey, Dimples." Sarah tightened her grip around his waist. "That bad, huh? I'm sure you are. Yeah, okay, I'll be there in a bit. Bye."

"You have to go?"

"There was a spill in the photo lab, no one on duty is signed off on the Haz-Mat stuff and since it's my duty station and I am signed off, well, that just makes it a no-brainer for them."

She recognized a cover story when she heard one. "Should we be concerned?"

He sniffed, since shrugging wasn't really an option in that position, and put the phone down. "Doubt it. Not every flash I have is about an evil conspiracy right around the corner, you know. It only seemed that way back in LA. Although they do seem to have an awful lot of evil conspiracies there…"

"It's Hollywood, Chuck, what did you expect?"

"Are we talking cause or effect here?"

"We're talking about you leaving your naked wife in bed to go off and save the free world yet again."

He rolled over, throwing off the covers, muttering under his breath.

"What was that, sweetie?"

"I said, James Bond never had to put with this crap."

She whacked him on his broad muscular back. "James Bond is a little boy's fantasy of what a spy's life should be. You, on the other hand, are a grown-up woman's fantasy of what a spy really is. Get it?"

He looked back, brown eyes on blue, smiling that smile he only smiled at _her_. "I think so. Will this be on the test?"

The sheet shifted as she stretched. "You better believe it, buster."

He took a deep breath and looked away. "Okay, exiting 'sexy banter mode' now. Otherwise I'll never get out of here."

"Don't think of it as going away, think of it as preparing to be welcomed back."

"La-la-la-la, I'm not listening…" He grabbed some clothes at warp speed (early-TNG warp speed, when they could do, like, warp fifteen) and fled.

* * *

Chuck stared at the recently tied knot on his sneakers, completely ignoring the (_rustling!_) rustling sounds coming from (_being made by his wife in_) the bedroom. There had to be more to being a couple than sex in the bedroom and video games in the den, but God help him, only missions were coming to mind and he knew that was just wrong! Ellie and Devon were no help, they did most of their couple-ing at the hospital and he really didn't mean it the way that sounded!

He was so not ready for this. Whatever could his father have been thinking?

_Luke, trust me._

Okay, wrong character, same mentoring, fatherly relationship. But he was gonna run to the Millennium Falcon now and not even _think_ about putting his proton torpedoes down the shaft dammit! He can't even not think about it without thinking about it.

Work! Wallet. Car keys. Out the–

Beautiful red-headed supermodel ready to knock on his door. Definitely not in the program. For a second he just stood there staring, trying to get his brain in gear.

She got there first. "Chuckles?"

Right. That's where he knew her from. "Carina," he shouted, "Oh…ha, uh, Hi! What a surprise!"

She stood there and surveyed his tall, lanky form, once, twice, and a horrible slight smile played across her lips. "Yes. Isn't it?"

* * *

**A/N2** Uh-oh, guess who didn't get an invitation?

Please review! Thanks.


	2. The Ring Ploy

_Beautiful red-headed supermodel ready to knock on his door. Definitely not in the program. For a second he just stood there staring, trying to get his brain in gear._

_She got there first. "Chuckles?"_

_Right. That's where he knew her from. "Carina," he shouted, "Oh…ha, uh, Hi! What a surprise!"_

_She stood there and surveyed his tall, lanky form, once, twice, and a horrible slight smile played across her lips. "Yes. Isn't it?"_

* * *

Chuck made no move to get closer and Carina made no move to get further away. "You're an awfully long way from home, Chuckles. Your mother know you're staying out this late?"

"No, I, uh, I live—_we_ live here now. Sarah and me. Us. Together."

"You must be better in the sack than I thought you were, for Sarah to play finders keepers like that." She took a step closer to him and the door. "I always favored the catch and release method myself."

He grinned, a sickly sort of thing, but he didn't back up. "That's…certainly…why are you here, exactly?"

"I'm not allowed to visit my nearest and dearest? You know how it is, another successful mission, time to kill, yadda, yadda. So I swing by my bestie's place and find she's moved, and without sending me a forwarding address."

"We only just got into town ourselves. But I'm sure if you go check out some of your blind drops in Jakarta, you should find an update—"

"You're cute, Chuckles. Not bright, but cute. How long are you in town for?"

Chuck raised his left hand before she could make an offer he'd have to refuse.

"Oo, the _ring_ ploy. Bold move, Walker. Usually we save this sort of thing for marks. I just got married for the seventh time, myself."

"Congratulations, we'll send a toaster. Just don't call her Walker. She's kinda touchy on the subject." He wiggled his finger, as if she might have been talking about some other ring. "It's Bartowski now."

"Sure it is, Chuckles, sure it is. You did make sure she signed her real name to the certificate? No wait, that's right, you don't know her real name, do you?" _God, that look, if I could just bottle it…_ "You must be such a Boy Scout. Usually the ring ploy is a guy's—"

"I, uh, I have to go to work now, Carina, not that it hasn't been a blast, because it really hasn't…"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Chuckles," she said in low tones. "You've got squatters outside."

"That's just our detail…"

She poked him in the chest. "I knew you guys were on a mission! No way would Walker be here in the boonies with a Boy Scout and a watchdog when she could be having drinks with a Sultan."

"No." Chuck's face fell, his voice flatlined. "No drinks, no Sultans. Just us." He turned toward the empty room. "Sarah, your bestie's here." He stepped around his unwelcome guest and went straight to his car.

She watched him go, feeling vaguely like she'd kicked someone's puppy. _That didn't go like I'd hoped_. He drove away as fast as a residential speed limit would allow, the carload of squatters following. _What?_ The detail was for him—?

Sarah came out of their room, belting her robe tightly. "Chuck?" She knew her man, his voice, and whatever wasn't right was most definitely wrong.

Carina sauntered through the open door. "You just missed him, Blondie. He and his detail just left." Carina took in her hostess' appearance. "Or did you? You go back for seconds or just keep going after firsts?"

Walker went around and slammed the door. It had already let one pest inside. "What do you want, Carina?"

"Geez, Walker, what's got your panties twisted? I would have waited for you to put 'em on straight."

"It's Bartowski now, I know Chuck told you." Because he told everybody.

"Go on, pull the other one, Walker."

Sarah made a fist with her left hand, and held in front of Carina's nose.

"Crap, you're serious."

"As serious as cardiomyopathy. What…did you say…to my…husband?"

Nothing that she would care to repeat to his for real wife. "Nothing, just chatting. I was wondering how come you guys were out here in the sticks—"_with a detail_ "—and I may have put my foot in it, as usual. You know me."

"Yeah, I know you, Carina." Enough to know that wasn't all she said, and enough to know that that was all she'd admit to. She dropped her arm, unclenched her fist with some difficulty.

Carina circled her, looking for…something. "So?"

Sarah pivoted, unwilling to allow anyone, especially Carina, at her back. "So, what?"

"So what are you doing out here in the sticks, Walk-Bartowski? Makes it hard to just have a girls night out."

Sarah smirked. "I'd rather have a boys night in."

Carina grinned. "Oo, he _has_ been good for you."

"You don't know the half of it."

"No, I don't, so tell me all about it." Carina threw herself into the nearest chair. "Last I saw, you two were making cow eyes at each other over the Grand Canyon of CIA regulations, and now here you are married so fast my invitation hasn't even had time to arrive in the mail!"

Sarah chuckled. "Talk to Ellie if you want an invitation. She was a bit…upset…that Chuck and I got married in a Nevada border town with some professional witnesses. I think she's going to hit us with a surprise church wedding just so she can have pictures."

For a second Carina lost herself in a vision of herself as a bridesmaid, but shook it from her head. _Focus, Red. _"Why so fast?"

"'The Grand Canyon of CIA regulations.'" Sarah sketched air quotes. "We'd finally gotten past it, could finally begin to think about being together, and then life came along and put it back in front of us again."

There had to be a very large and probably very classified story behind that. "So you carpe'd the diem, so to speak."

"Middle of the night, actually. We had only a few hours, the most Casey could give us, before he had to report to Beckman. That town in Nevada was the best we could do."

"So you really married him? Whose brilliant idea was that?" Maybe the ring ploy was Chuck's, and he wasn't such a Boy Scout after all.

Sarah rubbed the ring with her thumb."You want some coffee? This is my third time out of bed this morning and I still haven't had any." _I really can't have this conversation without coffee. _She walked toward the kitchen.

Carina leapt from her chair and followed. "Oh no you don't, Sarah Walker Bartowski. You don't get to use sexy banter to deflect my questions."

Sarah yawned. "What sexy banter?"

"'Third time out of bed.' First of all, good work. Second of all, quit stalling."

"Stalling about what?"

"Walker!"

Sarah spun in fury, just as good as coffee in its own way. "Bartowski! It's Bartowski, now and forever, until the day I die!" She held up her hand. "I wasn't forced into this. I wasn't tricked. I may spend parts of each day in sheer terror now that it's done but do not think for a moment that I am not completely on board."

Carina smiled, her needling having had its desired effect. "Good to know. So it was his idea, then?"

Sarah shook her head, suddenly aware of what she was saying again. "No. One life-altering decision per year is enough for any man, and Chuck was over his quota that day, believe me. Made up for lost time in a _big_ way. There was…someone else."

"Not Casey…"

Sarah looked at her friend like she'd grown an extra arm. "Casey? A wedding?"

Carina's face went as red as her hair. "Okay, not my best theory…"

"You've had worse ideas, but mostly because you were drunk," said Sarah. "Maybe you need this coffee more than I do."

"Stalling again."

Sarah stared into the coffee canister, scooping up the grounds and pouring them back out again. "We panicked, we were totally freaking out, both of us. Everything slipping through our fingers like sand because Chuck had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time—"

"And do the right thing." Carina sighed. "No good deed goes unpunished. Maybe that's why I do so few of them. So this 'someone else' got you moving toward matrimony?"

"We certainly weren't coming up with plans of our own, and really who'd believe it? _My_ best idea was to get in one good real solid non-cover kiss before the roof fell in on us! I couldn't even say 'I love you' to the man and I'm going to marry him?" Finally she put the grounds in the cup where they belonged. "I don't even believe it somedays."

"Hence the terror. Word of advice, don't tell Chuck."

"Do I look stupid?"

"In that robe?"

A phone rang, not either of the ones in the bedroom. Sarah ran for her purse. Carina moved to follow but a firmly pointed finger from Sarah kept her planted in the kitchen. "Walker, unsecure."

Carina turned on the water in the sink and finished making the coffee. "Insecure too."

* * *

Sarah heard the water and stepped a little further away. "I'm secure now."

"_Telescope, this is Lensman. We're your husband's backup for his sudden trip."_

"Go on, Lensman."

"_We're outside your residence now but we don't see your vehicle."_

"You're _what?"_ Carina turned off the water at her shout, and Sarah turned to her. "You said Chuck left with his detail!"

Carina didn't shrug. "He left, and he said it was his detail."

"Did he look at them? Observe them in any way at all?"

_Why on Earth would that matter? _Confusion and the look on her best friend's face left her hesitant rather than aggressive, her usual façade. "He was, um, he was, sort of, glaring daggers at me at the time." Sort of like what Sarah was doing right now.

"Lensman, do you have his frequency?"

"_We do, Telescope. Commencing tracking."_

"Keep me informed."

"_Will do, Telescope."_

As Sarah closed the phone, Carina asked, "Frequency?" For once she wasn't talking about sex.

"Bio-chip. I'm getting dressed. Make the coffee. Don't cause any more trouble than you already have."

A bio-chip in an analyst? "What the hell _is_ he?"

"Don't ask," said Sarah from her bedroom. "This assignment has been above God's pay grade from the beginning, and if you're lucky you'll walk away knowing nothing more than you do right now. It'd only serve you right if I read you into this mess but that's not my call."

Flashing lights drew Carina's attention to the front windows. "Uh, Walker?"

"Bartowski!"

"Fine. Bartowski. You've still got a policeman standing outside your door."

* * *

A/N That's never good.


	3. Details, Details

**A/N** I'm afraid my kidnapping and car chase got hijacked by something very silly. Don't let it distract you from all the angst and heartbreak.

Thanks to all of you who left comments and favorited my little story. It really means a lot to me. I have lots more where this came from.

* * *

_Flashing lights drew Carina's attention to the front windows. "Uh, Walker?"_

"_Bartowski!"_

"_Fine. Bartowski. You've still got a policeman standing outside your door."_

* * *

"Answer it, will you? Without your usual havoc, please."

"First untwist, then put 'em on, Blondie," said Carina far too loudly, and then she opened the door. He was male, he was in uniform, he was blushing.

"Mrs. Bartowski?"

She leaned against the doorframe, eyeing him up and down. "Why, no, Officer, I'm delightfully single."

"Is Mrs. Bartowski available, Miss Single?"

"Oo, I like a man with wit."

He leaned in close. "Do you like a man with handcuffs? 'Cause if you interfere with me in the performance of my duties one more time, I'll show you those too."

She made a slight shrug with her eyes. "Maybe next time." She turned her head back toward the room. "Hey, Blondie, haul ass!"

Sarah marched out of her bedroom fully dressed, pulling her hair back into her usual 'if you get in the way of my peripheral vision one more time you _will_ regret it' ponytail. With a well-placed elbow and boot she displaced Carina _("Hey!")_ and took her position. "Can I help you, Officer…Davis? I'm Mrs. Bartowski."

"Your husband is one Charles Irving—?"

"Better not be two, that's bigamy."

"Shut up, Carina. Yes he is, officer. And he drives a Matrix."

"With or without a big 'Nerd Herd' decal on the side?"

"Shut up, Carina."

"You know," said Davis, "I could arrest her for you, if you'd like. Just part of the service."

Sarah smiled, but shook her head. "No, thank you, Officer. She's family. We'll torture her ourselves."

"See how we take care of each other?"

"Shut up, Carina," said Davis. "We found your husband's car—"

"When and where, officer?"

"Ten minutes, that way." He gave her an address that was only about five minutes away, but then, she probably drove a lot faster than him.

"Good," said Sarah, although it was anything but. "Here. Take this card, call the number, and when they answer, say 'Dustbin.' They'll help you file your report appropriately. Have a good day, Officer." She smiled and closed the door, leaving officer Davis on her porch, wondering what the hell just happened. Then the garage door opened, and Sarah drove out in her Porsche, already going faster than the posted speed limit.

Davis stared. _The Porsche Blonde_! He ran back to his cruiser. "The blonde!" he said to himself, disbelieving. " I met her, spoke to her!" He propped up his clipboard and grabbed the radio. "The guys at the precinct will—" He saw the card, clipped automatically on his board. _Dustbin._ "—never hear about this." A man with wit, indeed.

* * *

"I still say you should have let me tranq him."

"Sorry, Carina, my need to have this incident kept quiet trumps your need to have a cute man in uniform forget your first meeting."

"Ha, you thought he was cute too."

"Shut up, Carina. I'll make it up to you. When we find Chuck, I'll let you kick their asses."

"Whose asses?"

"The guys who took Chuck, of course. And they're gonna need it too."

"That fake detail. He must have made them. To get where he was when he did, he had to be using an evasion pattern—"

"Which they defeated anyway." A very good driver? Multiple cars? Who could say, but they'd taken her Chuck, always a mistake. She pressed a button on her GPS. Heading north by northwest. "Dammit." She hit speed dial on her phone.

"Kaleidoscope, secure."

"That's Casey's voice…"

"Telescope, unsecure."

"What the hell happened, Telescope?"

"Eagle Eye's been intercepted by at least one group of unknown hostiles. Signal reads heading north but I've got a stop to make first."

"You mean to tell me that an unknown group of bozos managed to blow through all our layers of security and get away with the target? How'd that happen, Telescope?"

"Carina showed up."

A grunt of disgust. "That'll do it."

"Are you in motion or not?"

A pause. "Yeah, I'm in motion. I hope you left her handcuffed to a bed. In Prague."

The two women shared a smirk. "That's a negative, Kaleidoscope."

"Oh hell, she's there with you, isn't she? What's the plan? Ejection seat?"

"Wrong car."

"Tranq her?"

"The trunk isn't very big, and it'd take too long to jam her in there by myself. I'm thinking we may have to read her in on the project. Let her make hash of someone else's plans for once. It's her skill set."

"Bartowski, that's harsh. Can't you just shoot her?"

"That's a kindness?"

"It is to _us_."

"You're forgetting the paperwork."

"Oh, yeah." He sighed loud enough for them to hear him over the phone. "Fine, I'll call Beckman." Sarah stabbed the 'End Message' screen before it went black on its own.

"Wow, Walk-Bartowski, you'd put me in the trunk after you knocked me out? How thoughtful."

"The least I could do, and a whole hell of a lot better than that carry-on I had to squirm out of that time."

Carina shrugged. "You're more flexible than me, and it saved you airfare, so I don't know what you're bitching about. Doubt I could do it today, Mrs. Domestic. It's supposed to be carry on, not forklift on."

"I am not fat!"

"You're fatt_er_, and that's what matters."

"This is the way Chuck likes me."

"And whatever Chuck wants, Chuck gets?"

"Of course."

"So why aren't we riding to the rescue?"

"I have to disable the rocket launcher in the Matrix, and the self-destruct. The kids in this neighborhood are monsters."

* * *

Chuck woke up in darkness, felt his own breath. A hood, and not one with a thin strip in front that he could see out of, either. Tied to the chair like he was, he wasn't going to be taking it on his own either.

A man with a strong accent asked, "Who's this fella? I sent you lot out to bring me my Sheila back!"

A man with a Midwestern accent answered. "She was going into a house, boss. We figured she knew him, we could probably make a trade."

"How'd you figure?"

"We saw them talking. He was coming out, she was going in. He smiled at, he frowned a bit, and then he walked away like he'd been insulted."

"Yeah, he knows her all right. What's this?"

"His picture, boss. I took it while he was dazed from the crash. This way we don't have to take the bag off his head."

"But I like taking the bag off, the way their eyes bug out in fear—!"

"I know you do, boss, but remember, Americans do those things on TV for dramatic moments, not because they make sense. You take the bag off, we have to kill him, and we don't want to kill him."

The boss sighed. "No, I suppose not. Good thinking. This whole operation was supposed to be under the radar. Damn that Sheila for mucking it up!"

"Damn Sheila."

"Don't you talk that way about my wife!" Flesh hit flesh. "Now go establish a perimeter, or whatever it is you guard types do."

Chuck heard lots of feet in motion away from him, and a chair being drawn closer. Someone was sitting in front of him and it didn't take a genius to figure out who. He kept his head down, in case the bag came off by accident. "You shouldn't have hit him, you know, he was just following orders."

"It was an oath, not an instruction."

Chuck shrugged. "Thanks for not wanting to kill me."

"No worries, mate. It's her I'm after, but the boys are right, she'd have been too hard to grab. You know my little woman, then?"

Chuck shrugged. "A little, She's really my wife's friend, but after what she said today, I don't know how long that'll last."

Accent-man laughed. "She's got a razor tongue, doesn't she?"

"You sound like you approve."

"A razor tongue can be useful, in my line of work, as long as I keep it pointed at someone else."

"And when there's no one else around?"

"I wasn't plannin' on makin' conversation, mate."

Trophy, distraction, bedwarmer. No wonder Carina had such a low opinion of marriage. "Perhaps if you'd talked to her more you wouldn't be in the trouble you're in."

Accent-man's voice got rock hard. "And what do you know about the trouble I'm in?"

It was a lot easier to put up a brave front when he couldn't see all the blustering. "Kidnapping random strangers isn't most people's default reaction to a parking ticket, 'mate.' She either is or has something you want back."

"Yer a smart one, ain't ya? Yeah, I want her back. You're right I should have talked to her more but…I wanted her to love me for me, not let a little thing like my job get in the way of it. You know?"

"So you lied to her, got her to marry you under false pretenses, not to mention the wedding night—" no way Carina would pass up a chance at a wedding night "—hoping that all this water under the bridge would help her choke down the fact that you commit crimes on a major scale for a living? Is that about right?"

"You know, put that way it sounds kind of dumb."

"Believe me, baggage like that they want to know about beforehand. It's not exactly carry-on, is it? She'd have to rent a forklift to get _that_ down the aisle."

"Yeah, well, it's the baggage I'm after. I gave that girl everything, everything! The keys to my castle. And what does she do but take the first thing she can carry out of my vault and high-tail it to Witness Protection!"

"Ah, so you want it and her to come back before she does something she can't back out of."

"I can't lose her, mate, I just can't. You seem like a nice guy and all, and I'm really hoping I don't have to torture you, but you have to understand my position here!"

_Boy did he. _"I know exactly what you're going through. You have my complete sympathy."

"Wish me luck, then?"

_Sure. _"Good luck." _For all the good it'll do you._

A heavy hand clapped Chuck on the shoulder, almost knocking him out of the chair he was tied to. "Thanks, mate." A brief pause. "I hate these stupid phones, my fingers are too big for the numbers. There we go." Another brief pause. "Hello, smooshie?"

* * *

**A/N2 **Yes, I stole the Witness Protection idea from Armadilloi's Lies of Omission. Sue me.


	4. Odd Couples

A/N The important stuff first: This story was vetted by **atcDave**, **Thinkling**, and **BDaddyDL** and they helped it become much better than it had been. Thanks, guys.

* * *

"_And whatever Chuck wants, Chuck gets?"_

"_Of course."_

"_So why aren't we riding to the rescue?"_

* * *

The Porsche was humming, doing what it was made to do, look good, go very fast, and get there in the nick of time.

The Blonde driving the Porsche was humming, too.

"If you're going to insist on humming off key, can you pick a different song, please?" said Carina. "That one's depressing."

Sarah jerked out of her focus. She'd picked the song for its power and passion. "What's depressing about it?"

"Don't you listen to the words?" Carina doubted it. The iPhone in Sarah's kitchen had the volume turned way down.

"I find music I like, I keep it," said Sarah. "I don't listen to the words anyway." She liked to move to it, not sing along. Chuck was the singer. She loved it when he took showers, not only because she liked to imagine him naked but also because he sang in there and she liked the sound.

A phone rang, with the chorus of 'Girls Just Wanna have Fun'. Carina put her musical concerns to one side and answered, putting it on speaker.

"You know I hate speakerphones, smooshie, anybody can hear."

Carina adopted a strange, air-headed voice. "But smoosh, I'm driving, and they have that whole 'hands-free' thing now."

He immediately backed down. "Alright, alright. You got my bag?"

"Right beside me, smoosh." She patted Sarah's leg. "I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me for running away? I was just so surprised! But really, what's a girl to think when you tell her something like that?"

"I was hopin' you'd think I loved you and wanted to give you everything I treasure in my life," he grumbled. "But I can see where I might have made a mistake in that. Can you forgive me, smooshie, for not telling you about my little transgressions?"

"Of course I can, smoosh." Carina blew a kiss into her phone. "I realize now you were only trying to protect me."

"Er, yeah! I lead a hard life, and I wanted to keep you safe. I love you."

"I love you more, smoosh. But really, Karl, you didn't have to kidnap my friend's husband like that!"

"Well it wasn't my idea, was it? I wanted the boys to snatch _you_, but you didn't have the bag and he was right there. Tell you what, you meet me, with the bag, as agreed, and I'll let you punish the lot of them."

Carina actually seemed intrigued by the possibilities. "Oh, you say the sweetest things, smoosh."

"And if you don't meet me, or you don't have my bag, I'll let them punish him."

"Now, smoosh," she scolded, "There's no need for such talk, none at all."

"I know there isn't." The screen went black.

Carina made sure all the functions were shut down. "That was very strange."

"You're telling me? I don't know which of you made me want to throw up more." Her phone chimed. "Telescope, secure."

"What's your ETA, Telescope?"

"One minute."

"Think you can bring DEA up to speed in one minute? North Star gave the go-ahead."

"I'll use small words, Kaleidoscope. Carina, you've heard of the Intersect project?"

"Who hasn't?"

"Eagle Eye's the CPU. How's that, Kaleidoscope?"

His impressed grunt carried over the speakers. "I'll inform North Star."

"Good God," said Carina, honestly shocked for once. "You don't suppose Karl knows, do you?"

Sarah laughed evilly. "When they feel the ton of bricks about to land on them they might figure it out, but by then it won't matter."

Twenty seconds later they were standing in a cloud of dust in a fenced-in parking lot. Casey was already there with a group of men armed to the teeth. "Glad you could make it, Telescope. Bad guys are in there—" he pointed to a building on the other side of the fence "—we've cut holes to flank. You take the Lensman twins that way, I'll take my guys this way, incursion in thirty."

"Where's Eagle Eye?"

"Don't worry, we've tapped their camera, got eyes inside. They're centered. There's only a perimeter, unfortunately, not even enough for a training exercise, so this shouldn't take long. Go." They went, mostly silent except for a muttered complaint from Carina about high heels and gravel. No one cared. The hole in the back fence opened behind some debris, giving them cover as they crawled out to get the lay of the land.

"Target spotted," said Lensman One.

"Target spotted," said Two.

"Crap," said Carina.

"Drop your—ow!" said the sentry, as Sarah's knife sank into the back of the hand he had clamped around Carina's throat. She dropped and rolled, allowing Sarah to finish him off with her usual dispatch.

Carina stood, wiping the dirt off her hands on the crumpled lump of sentry. "You enjoyed that."

"Only a lot," said the team leader. "I like having enemies I can fight."

"Yeah, you do."

The radio on the unconscious sentry's shoulder squawked. "Unit two?"

"Crap, we're blown." Sarah raised her own mike. "Casey, action _now_!"

The two Lensmen fired, and their targets dropped like sacks of meat. The team sprinted across the lot as shots rang out on the far side of the building.

"Nobody move or I blow his brains out!"

Sarah risked a peek inside. The boss was right behind Chuck, a gun to his head, glaring at Casey's men.

"I have an idea," said Carina, handing over her gun. "Take me hostage."

"Right." Sarah grabbed her by her arm and dragged her through the door. "Not so fast, Stromberg!"

"Smooshie!" He glared at Carina's dishevelment. "Have they hurt you?"

"Not really, smoosh."

'Not really' meant 'some'. "You bastards!" He fired wildly at Sarah. She easily dodged but Carina took the opportunity to 'escape' and ran to her husband's side.

"Smoosh! You saved me!" She kissed him full on the lips, one hand holding him close while the other was outstretched. Finally she broke off.

"Did you miss me, smooshie?"

"Not a bit," she said, hitting him with the brick Casey had put in her hand. He fell like a sack of meat, but still breathing.

Sarah ran over, reaching Chuck before anyone else. "Don't move or speak, Eagle Eye. I'll cut you free but don't remove the hood. Most of these people aren't cleared for your identity." Chuck nodded, and merely gripped her hand as she put her knives to work.

Casey moved up a little more slowly. "What happened, Telescope?"

"They had their SIC doing perimeter duty. Karl here called him right after we took him out."

Casey grunted in disbelief at the amateurishness that was causing them so much trouble. He looked over at Carina. "You know, we could have taken him out easily." He wouldn't have minded a chance to shoot something.

Carina shrugged. "I know, but my way was more fun. And believe me, after that wedding night, he _really_ needed to get hit in the head with a brick. Hey, do I get a cool cover name too?"

Casey rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, why not?" He looked at her dress. "How about 'Microscope'?"

* * *

A couple of days later, Carina dropped by again for a surprise visit, and to get a proper read-in on the project that was soon to engulf every aspect of her life. At least Sarah hoped so. "No one told you to get in the car, you know."

On the way out, Carina paused by the door. "I have something for you, Bartowski. I'm not sure you're ready for it, but I'm not sure you'll ever be ready for it. For Chuck's sake I'll give it to you, but only on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You must listen to everything on this drive, in order. No weaseling out or stopping in the middle, got it?"

_You think I'm a coward?_ "I promise."

Carina stared at her a moment more, then reached out, grabbed Sarah's hand, and slapped a flash drive into it. "Watch it alone." She turned and walked away.

* * *

_Watch it alone, she says._ Like Sarah ever wanted to be alone. She'd done the 'alone' thing, swallowed it until she almost choked on the stuff. Secrets and lies, she had no stomach for them anymore. But she'd made a promise. "Chuck?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind…going to bed a little ahead of me tonight. Carina gave me some files and I promised her I'd review them."

He shrugged. "We can look at them together."

She shook her head, already regretting it. "No, she…she suggested I watch them alone. Believe me, if it's something that needs to be shared I will share it. I promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." It wasn't quite a joke.

She waited until the door to their room closed, then got out her laptop and headphones. Carina'd said 'listen', and the walls were thin. The drive had three files on it, none very big, labeled in sequence. She pressed the first one.

A static image came onto her screen, and music played. She didn't recognize the melody. Then words started appearing on the screen, lyrics to the song being sung.

"_How can you see into my eyes, like open doors,_

_Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb…"_

The music became more intense, and she knew the song now. She'd picked it for its power and passion. It's words were too true, painful to hear, and she reached out more than once to stop the file, but she'd made a promise. Only that kept her in her seat, hands clenched white around each other as she forced herself to read the blurred words through tearing eyes.

At last it was over, and Sarah was free to wipe the tears from her eyes before starting the next file. _I hate you, Carina. Is this what you think I am? _

The second file was the same song, but not static. The music video panned in to a building, an apartment, a woman sleeping as life went on around her. It only got worse from there, images giving the words meaning beyond their mere definitions.

_An enemy she could fight._

At last the nightmare ended, leaving Sarah bolt wide awake and desperate for rest at the same time, her emotions bruised and torn. One file to go, but if it was like the last two she'd break a promise for the first time, and then she'd break the former friend who'd made her promise.

With that resolve firmly in mind, she opened the last file.

No music, already a plus. Homemade, too. A large hand blocked the screen for a moment, but the owner walked away and she could see an empty warehouse, and a man on a chair, his head covered with a cloth bag. Chuck.

"You think she believed me?" She recognized the voice, the man on the phone, sounding much more human. Clearly he didn't know the camera was on.

"I would have," said Chuck, his voice muffled, but even so a balm to her no longer quite so frozen soul, thank you very much Carina. "You sounded very fierce."

"Well I am fierce," said the man in conversational tones. "I'm fiercely in love with her, and I fiercely want her back, and my bag. Do you think that came across?"

Sarah almost laughed. _He's coming to my man for advice! Chuck beat him while bagged and tied to a chair! _God, she loved him.

"It's exactly how I would want to sound if I thought I was losing my wife. Carina showed me that."

"She did?" asked the man.

_How?_, wondered the wife.

"This morning, Carina asked me how come my wife was out in the sticks with a Boy Scout when she should have been out in the world, dining with kings."

Sarah growled. She knew Carina'd said something stupid.

"And she was right. That's absolutely where my wife belongs, and I have no idea why she's with me. She chose to be with me, and every day I lived in terror that she'd change her mind, that she would realize her mistake, and go back to those kings and leave me and my girlish screams and absurd fear of needles behind here in the sticks, where _I_ belong."

Sarah shook her head _Nonono_, tears streaming.

"But then Carina came along, and what she said made me imagine a life without my wife in it, sir, and that frightened me more than anything I've had to face to get her in it in the first place. That wasn't the end, just the beginning. She deserves the best, so I have to man up and become that, to be worthy of the priceless gift she's given me. And I am not fierce, so I can only hope to sound like someone who _is_, if that time should ever come."

The big man clapped a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "You just say that to her, mate, and you'll never have to worry about sounding fierce. You're a good man, Chuck, and I wish you all the best. I just have to get my missus back and I'll get you home to yours." He lifted a radio to his mouth. "Unit two?"

Sarah shut the file.

She crept into bed, thinking he might be asleep. She was never more grateful for anything in her life when she nestled into his side and felt his arm go around her. _Hold me to that. You promised._

1-2-3-4, his fingers pressed into her back.

1-3-1-3, she pressed back. _Yellow._

His other arm came up. "Somebody needs a hug."

She held him tightly in response, even though she didn't quite agree. _I just need you._

* * *

A/N2 The song, in case you care, is 'Bring Me to Life' by Evanescence. It's a perfect song for the Sarah that once was. Hopefully now that I've finished this episode it'll stop playing in my head. So, where to next? Devon? Morgan and Anna? or everyone's favorite guest star, Daniel Shaw? Let me know your thoughts in the comments, please. Thanks so much for reading.


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